Shakira Probably Wants to Marry Me

June 18, 2010 at 5:14 pm (In the News)

Temp: -25 C / -13 F
WC: same
Winds: calm
Pole: -63 C / -81 F

June Records:
Max Temp: -4 C / +25 F
Min Temp: -42 C / -44 F
Snowfall: 11.5 inches in 24 hours
Winds: 104 kts / 120 mph

It’s been brought to my attention that I haven’t been posting much lately. Mostly, this attention has been brought by my dad and sister, via email and page, with the words, “Hey! Where the hell is your blog?” Point taken, with apologies and explanations to follow.

More importantly, however, is the fact that my One True Love (besides Stephen Hawking) is now aware of my existence. Not only is Shakira aware of me, she’s basically publicly pronouncing her love for me. Sigh. Oh, Shakira. Calm down. Let’s go on a date first, before we get all mushy and PDA-y.

So, Shakira, in her hip-shaking and world-loving glory, is raising funds to “benefit FIFA’s “20 Centers for 2010” initiative, which aims to achieve positive social change through football (that’s “soccer” to us Americans) by building 20 “Football for Hope” public health centers across Africa.” To do so, “she’s just posted a track called “Waka Waka (This Time for Africa),” which will serve as the official theme for the 2010 FIFA World Cup, [which kicked] off June 11 in South Africa.” On her official website, folks from all over the world are submitting videos of them dancing the Waka Waka.

Everyone knows that participating in any event from Antarctica brings with it a certain je ne sais quoi. Let’s be honest. I’m at least twenty percent more awesome, now that I’m here. So, we Antarcticans figured we should dance, post a video, and get automatic love and affection from Shakira and The World. And that’s how Shakira came to know and love me.

The video, for your viewing pleasure. I’m the one in the green hat (which Brooks found and rescued for me!) on the your right, doing a celebratory can-can with Brooks, himself. Now, go out and buy the record so the childrens can play that game where they kick the ball into the thing and then run around with their shirts off and fists in the air. Because the more practice they get now, the hotter they are when they grow up. And that’s what it’s all about.

My nuptials with Shakira are to be announced in the coming weeks. I’m sure of it.



  1. Lael said,

    That rocks so hard! Well done, ye translucent-fleshed ones!

  2. *michaela* said,

    girl!!! you are fantastic and please let the rest your crew know the same.
    and listen… if things don’t work out with miss shuddering liquid hips, i’m here.
    because as previously stated, i think you are fantastic.
    be well crazy lady!

  3. Dave said,

    This is so fantastic. I think Shakira and 1Goal would benefit from the release of the unrated version.

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